Another turn along my path. No crossroads here, no contemplative decisions which need be made, just life.
When does the throat relax and lungs allow a full measure. When will the daily glimpses of happiness, yield fruit of reflective satisfaction.
Most mornings in that transitional state between the pillow daemons and impending anxiety of the day ahead, you smile and think, twas only a dream before and I can make my own plans for this day, devoid of mental anguish and full of brilliance.
As you get out of the comfortable folds and take the first few steps, life takes over and you remember the foreshadowed promise of anxiety and realize that your self diagnosed depression is a self fullfilling prophecy.
So being the rational being that you are, you try and break it down. What does one need to be truly happy and devoid of perpetual angst. You soon realize, however, that if only you knew the answer to the question…
Ok, so let’s check off the things we ‘have’ and attempt to find the gaps…
Good health, check.
Loving and caring family, check.
Great loyal friends, check.
Job satisfaction, check.
Reasonable means, check.
Reasonable intellect, check.
Cultural sense of identity, check.
Religious sense of belonging, check.
Healthy appetite for knowledge, check.
As soon as you start this list, you know where the gap is, but you follow through until you run out of the obvious.
It’s so blatantly obvious and you knew it from the start, but what to do about it?
So knowledge becomes your tormentor, you apply yourself to the task at hand by maximizing your exposure and opening the gates of opportunity. There, they’re open. Now what?
It’s not a task that one can unilaterally succeed in. It requires a minimum of two and then is only possible with the satisfaction of mutual, preconceived ideals. This seems a statistical improbability, coupled with the added complications of unknown variables that form each individual.
Faced with the mammoth task of sifting through the unending trove of potential partners, trying to facilitate all your preconceived ideals, it dawns that all you need is to reduce the pool where only candidates who match your list of ‘haves’ above and let nature take care of the rest.