Mind racing, grinding and crunching the combinations and permutations of third party actions. The world is still around me, despite the constant movement of the hords. One blink, one jarred thought and the picture becomes blurred and starts to vein.

Hold still, concentrate, dismiss the interruptions that are always pursuing you and focus. Your mind is slipping and the desire is ebbing, what was it that had me so worked up? I cannot recall, but I feel I should and that makes me nervous. Am I finally losing my mind?

I’ve often feared losing the one thing that has never betrayed me. Then I remember the agony of watching the light go out behind the eyes of sanity and I’m breathless.

The numbness of impotence is crippling. A feeling that desensitises the heart and opens the door to rage. The rational being reminds themselves that it’s temporary and “this too shall pass” but the stoker of the hell within demands action, in the form of retaliation.